The Survivors

by Matthew Hamon

Lord, I don’t know why you chose me,

Or what you plan to do through me.

All I know is I’m here,

Against all odds, I am still here.

I thank you LORD for providing for me,

But death is so much harder for the survivors.

God, I feel such anger

God, I feel such hate

A murderous envy for the lives of the assailants

But it cannot change this reality

I hunger for an answer,

But am starved of its comfort.

I long for understanding and acceptance,

But am evaded by its closure.

Surviving, they tell you, is the goal

That the pain I feel is somehow worth it

I count the weeks, the months, and soon the years

Still questioning why I was chosen

How one life can end so soon, and another just begin?

I thank you LORD for giving me a new beginning,

But life is so much harder for the survivors.