by Matthew Hamon
Lord, I don’t know why you chose me,
Or what you plan to do through me.
All I know is I’m here,
Against all odds, I am still here.
I thank you LORD for providing for me,
But death is so much harder for the survivors.
God, I feel such anger
God, I feel such hate
A murderous envy for the lives of the assailants
But it cannot change this reality
I hunger for an answer,
But am starved of its comfort.
I long for understanding and acceptance,
But am evaded by its closure.
Surviving, they tell you, is the goal
That the pain I feel is somehow worth it
I count the weeks, the months, and soon the years
Still questioning why I was chosen
How one life can end so soon, and another just begin?
I thank you LORD for giving me a new beginning,
But life is so much harder for the survivors.